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Last One Out, Hit the Lights
Church possesses Lopez's body to warn the Red Team, but finds that he can only speak Spanish. Caboose radios Church to inform him that Tex is almost ready. To Tucker's surprise, Caboose identifies himself as "O'Malley" and denies that he has ever confirmed his name as Caboose. Tex and Sheila then attack the Red Base. Sarge and Simmons attempt to repel them using the Warthog, but fail dismally. Ironically, it is Donut, still angry at being blown up earlier and being stuck in pink armor, who manages to kill Tex and disable Sheila by pitching a plasma grenade halfway across the gulch. Church runs to Tex's aid, taking Lopez's body with him. Sarge mistakes this for a suicide charge by Lopez and lets him go. In her dying words, Tex thanks Church for ridding her of the AI. Meanwhile, Caboose adopts a deep, menacing voice, repeating that his name is "O'Malley". Transcript Camera pans up to reveal Grif and Simmons standing on the red base Simmons: Hey. Grif: Yeah? Simmons: You ever wonder why we're here? Grif: No. I never, ever wonder why we're here. Semper Fi, bitch. Lopez: Keegakergerk! Simmons: What? What's wrong with Lopez? Grif: I don't care. Simmons: Hey, Lopez, uh... you okay man? Church as Lopez: Aye, muchachos, necesité darle...... un aviso... Caption: Guys. I need to give... you a... warning... Church: ¿Qué? ¿Por qué estoy el hablar en español? ¡Yo no puedo hablar español! Caption: What? Why am I speaking Spanish? I don't know Spanish! Simmons: Um... Sure... Church: ¡No, no, escucha mé! ¡La bruja teva a matar! Caption: No, listen to me! The mean woman is going to kill you! Church: ¡Ella está travajando en la tanque! Caption: She is fixing the tank! Cut to Tucker overlooking Tex, working on the tank Tucker: Aw, crap. Caboose, she's almost done fixing Sheila. I better radio Church and tell him what's going on. Caboose: Oh, oh, oh, Tucker please, Tucker, Tucker, Tucker, Tucker, Tucker, please- Tucker: Yes, you can be the one who radios Church. Caboose: Thanks man. (turns on radio) Calling Church. Come in Church. This is your close, personal friend, Private O'Malley. Tucker: O'Malley? You said your name was Caboose. Caboose: I never said that, you guys did! Tucker: Why didn't you correct us? Caboose: Because I didn't want to be difficult. (turns on radio... again) Come in Private Church. Do you copy. Soldier unit Tex almost has the armor vehicle situation rectified. Okay. We require verification of your... mission...ness. (clears throat) How is your progression? Church: (over radio) ¡Caboose! ¡Nadie aquí está escuchando mí! Caption: Caboose! No one here is listening to me! Church: ¡No mas puedo hablar español! Caption: I can only speak Spanish for some reason! Caboose: ...He says he wants to talk to you. Sheila: Thank you for activating the M808B Main Battle Tank. Tucker: Oh shit. We got trouble. Back to the red base Church: Un tanque... grrrande. Grif: Hey. I think if you're gonna live in this country, you should speak the language. Sheila: (distant in the background) Target locked. Simmons: What country? We're on an alien planet. Grif: What're you, a Communist? Sheila fires, hitting the side of the red base Grif: Son of a bitch! Simmons: Son of a bitch! Church: ¡MADRE DE DIOS! Caption: SON OF A BITCH! Back to Tucker, and Caboose looking through the rifle. Tank firing sounds in the background Tucker: Okay, I'm getting really sick of asking people what's going on through that sniper rifle. Caboose: Church is getting mad at us. Tucker: Ohhhhh. Well that's a nice change of pace. Cut to Sarge getting in the Warthog, and driving it Sarge: Simmons. I'm coming around in the Warthog. Get ready to take the gunner position when I come by. Simmons: Roger that. Grif: I'll uh... I'll stay here. Simmons: Yeah. Stay here, and guard this cement ramp. It's vital to our success. Sarge skids near the base, Simmons hops on, and they take off Simmons: Alright, I'm on board. Sarge: Alright, here's the plan- The tank blows up the jeep... again Sarge: JUNEBUG! Cut to Grif, watching Sarge and Simmons come up the ramp Grif: Wow, back so soon? You guys win the war already? Simmons: Yeah, uh, did you want to finish telling me the plan now, Sarge? Sarge: If we survive this, I'm gonna kill both of ya. Slowly. Grif: (kneeling down next to Simmons) Uh, hey Simmons? By the way. The ramp is secure. A brief shot of Sheila Sheila: Target locked. (fires) Donut: (coming up from inside the base) Hey, what're you guys doin' up here!? Grif: That chick in the black armor's back! Donut: What chick, the one that stuck the grenade to my head? Simmons: That's the one. Donut: The same chick whose fault it is that I'm stuck in this light red armor? Grif: Donut, I understand the need to safeguard your masculinity, but really dude. It's a whole lot faster just to say pink. Donut: Ohhuw. Oh I been waiting for this. (runs up to the edge of the base and yells) Hey Bitch! Remember me!? I saved something for ya! Donut throws a grenade. Various camera angles follow it on its long journey through the sky, and everyone in the Gulch watching it go, finally settling on Tucker and Caboose Tucker: Man, that girl's got a really good arm. The grenade lands right in Tex's lap, inside the tank Tex: Aw crap! Back to Donut at the edge of the red base Donut: Hell yeah! Three points, you dirty whore! (dirty whore echoes at least twice in the Gulch before the tank finally explodes) Church: ¡Dios mío, no! (runs out of the base toward Tex) ¡Tejas, Tejas! Grif: Uh... where's Lopez going? Sarge: To fight the enemy, head on, in hand to hand combat. Mano e mano. What a brave little compadre. Lopez, I never understood a word you said. But I do know one thing. You hated Grif, and that's the most important thing there is. Adios, amigo... Adios. Simmons: Shouldn't we help him? Sarge: Naw... That would just ruin the moment. Cut to Church looking down at Tex Tex: Church, is that you? It, it's gone, Church. The A.I., it's gone. Thank you. Heeeee, bleah... Cut to Tucker and Caboose on the ledge Tucker: Crap. Church is gonna be pissed, and now he's got a body to kick our ass. Come on Caboose, let's get back to base. Caboose: I told you, my name isn't Caboose... (in a deep voice) My name... is... O'Malley... Trivia *In Halo 3, one of the sections of the level Crow's Nest is entitled "Last One Out, Get the Lights", which is possibley a reference to this episode. Additionally, this is the level in which the easter egg involving the Rooster Teeth voice actors can be found arguing over the password. Category:Episodes Category:Season 1